# Questions to ask at a parent-teacher conference, and how to prepare Source: https://askthena.com/blog/parent-teacher-conference-questions Published 2 November 2026. For parents in the US. The best questions to ask at a parent-teacher conference are specific ones. Ask what your child does well, where they are against the grade-level expectation in reading and math, what a typical mistake of theirs looks like, what one thing you could practice at home for 10 minutes a day, and how best to contact the teacher. Conferences are short, so bring your top three. ## Before the conference: a 10-minute prep Schools typically schedule 10 to 20 minutes for a parent-teacher conference, and it varies by school. That goes fast, so a little preparation helps you spend it on what matters. 1. **Ask your child three questions at home.** Keep it casual, in the car or over dinner: - "What's the best part of your day at school?" - "What feels hard right now?" - "Is there anything you'd like me to tell your teacher?" 2. **Look through the homework folder.** Pick out one piece of work that went well and one that didn't, and bring both. 3. **Read the report card and any test scores** the school has sent. Circle anything you don't understand. Many elementary schools grade each skill on a scale such as 1 to 4 instead of letter grades, and the numbers can mean different things in different districts. 4. **Write down your top three questions.** Put the most important one first, in case time runs out. 5. **Decide the one thing you most want to leave with.** It might be "a clear picture of where her reading is" or "one thing to practice at home". Bring your questions, something to take notes with, the two pieces of work, and anything the teacher may not know about, such as a move, a new baby, a diagnosis or trouble sleeping. ## The questions, in the words to use A general question gets a general answer. These questions are specific, grouped by what you want to find out. Pick the groups that fit your child. ### Where is my child against grade level? - "Where is she in reading compared with where you'd expect at this time of year?" - "Where is he in math compared with the grade-level expectation?" - "Which reading level or test does the school use, and what was her latest score?" - "Which skills is he secure in, and which is he still working on?" Many schools check reading and math with a short screening test, for example DIBELS, i-Ready or MAP, and often give it three times a year. Others use book levels. Ask for the score, the benchmark for this point in the year, and where your child is against it: at, above or below. A number on its own tells you very little. ### How is math taught in this class? "Which method does the class use for this, so I can help the same way at home?" This one saves a lot of tears at the kitchen table. Take multi-digit multiplication. Under Common Core, 4th graders multiply using strategies based on place value and show their thinking with equations, arrays or area models. By 5th grade they are expected to use the standard algorithm fluently. So 23 × 14 could come home set out in any of three ways. The **area model** splits both numbers into tens and ones and multiplies each part: ``` 20 3 +------+-----+ 10 | 200 | 30 | +------+-----+ 4 | 80 | 12 | +------+-----+ 200 + 30 + 80 + 12 = 322 ``` **Partial products** lists the same four pieces down the page: ``` 23 × 14 ---- 12 (4 × 3) 80 (4 × 20) 30 (10 × 3) 200 (10 × 20) ---- 322 ``` The **standard algorithm** is the short way many parents learned: ``` 1 23 × 14 ---- 92 +230 ---- 322 ``` First 4 × 23 = 92, carrying the 1 from 4 × 3 = 12. Then a 0 goes in the ones place, because the 1 in 14 is a ten, and 10 × 23 = 230. Finally, 92 + 230 = 322. All three give 322. If the class is still on the area model and you show your child the standard algorithm, you are teaching a second method on top of the first. Ask, then follow the teacher's lead. The same question is worth asking about subtraction with regrouping, division and fractions. ### What do my child's mistakes look like? "What does a typical mistake of his look like? Could you show me one?" Teachers see the same slip again and again, and it tells you exactly what to practice. A 2nd grader who writes 52 − 27 = 35 is taking the smaller digit from the bigger one in each column instead of regrouping. (The answer is 25.) A 1st grader who reads "house" as "horse" may be guessing from the first letter and the picture instead of sounding out the whole word. Each has a simple fix at home, and neither shows up in a grade on a report card. ### What can we do at home? - "What is one thing we could practice at home for 10 minutes a day?" - "How long should homework take? What should I do if it takes much longer?" - "When she's stuck on homework, would you rather I help, or leave it so you can see what she can't do yet?" ### How is my child getting on in class? - "Who does he spend time with at recess and lunch?" - "How does she react when something is hard?" - "Does he ask for help when he needs it?" - "Is there anything about her behavior you'd like us to work on at home?" ### How do we stay in touch? - "What's the best way to reach you: email, the school app or a note in the folder?" - "If things don't improve, when should we talk again?" ## Questions by grade ### Kindergarten to 2nd grade At this age the big things are reading foundations, number sense and settling in. - "Which letter sounds and sight words does she know, and which is she still learning?" Common Core expects kindergartners to read common words such as *the*, *of*, *to*, *you* and *my* by sight. - "Can he count to 100 by ones and by tens?" That is a kindergarten standard. - "How are her addition and subtraction facts?" By the end of 2nd grade, children are expected to know all sums of two one-digit numbers from memory. - "How is he settling in: saying goodbye in the morning, following routines, sharing and making friends?" ### 3rd to 5th grade - "Does she know her [multiplication facts](https://askthena.com/us/games/temple), and which ones are shaky?" By the end of 3rd grade, Common Core expects children to know all products of two one-digit numbers from memory. Ask which ones, so you can practice just those. - "How is he doing with fractions?" Fractions as numbers start in 3rd grade and get harder every year. - "Does she understand what she reads, or mostly read the words?" Ask how the teacher checks understanding. - "Does he write down his own homework and turn it in without reminders?" ### Middle school Middle school conferences are often shorter and spread across several teachers or a team. Some schools run student-led conferences, where your child presents their own work and goals. - "Are there any missing assignments, and can they still be turned in for credit?" - "How is the grade calculated? How much do tests count compared with homework?" - "Where can I see grades and assignments online, and how often are they updated?" - "How does she keep track of her work: a planner, an app or a binder?" - "Who should I contact about each subject, and who should I call about the bigger picture?" That is often an advisor, team leader or school counselor. ## If your child is struggling Start with the teacher's view: "What have you tried so far, and what is working?" Then ask about extra help: - "Is he getting any extra support in school, such as small-group work?" - "Does the school use MTSS or RTI, and which tier is she in?" - "How will we know if the support is working, and when will you check?" MTSS (a multi-tiered system of supports) and RTI (response to intervention) are frameworks many schools use to spot children who are struggling and help them early. Tier 1 is teaching for the whole class, tier 2 adds small-group help, and tier 3 is more intensive, sometimes one-on-one. If you think your child may have a disability (dyslexia, for example), you can ask the school to evaluate them for special education services. Under the federal law IDEA (the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), a parent can request this evaluation, and the school's evaluation is free. You don't have to wait for the school's support program to run its course first. It's best to make the request in writing, date it and keep a copy. Once you give consent, the school generally has 60 days to complete the evaluation, or the timeline your state sets. This is general information, not legal advice. Every state has at least one free Parent Training and Information Center that can explain the rules where you live. ## If the news is good, or your child is ahead A glowing conference is a good moment to ask what comes next. - "What would stretch her in class?" - "Is there harder work he could try, or a way to go deeper in the same topic?" - "Does the school have a gifted program, and how are children chosen for it?" ## How to make the conversation go well - **Start with what is going well.** Ask, "What does he enjoy, and what is he good at?" It sets a friendly tone and tells you what to build on. - **Listen more than you talk.** You have about 15 minutes, and the teacher has seen things you haven't. - **Share what you see at home.** The teacher doesn't see the tears over spelling or the questions at bedtime. - **Take notes.** It's easy to forget half of it by the time you reach the car. - **Agree one next step and a date to check in.** For example, "We'll [practice the 7s](https://askthena.com/us/times-tables/7-times-table) for 10 minutes after dinner, and I'll email you in three weeks." ## Three common mistakes at conferences ### Only asking "How is she doing?" You ask, the teacher says "She's doing great," and the time is up. It's the polite question, and the teacher has many families to see. Ask something specific instead, such as "Could you show me a typical mistake of hers?" ### Saving a big worry for the meeting You raise a serious concern with two minutes left, and the teacher can only say "Let me look into that." Big worries feel easier to raise face to face. Email a line a few days ahead instead, so the teacher can bring the right work and scores. ### Leaving without a next step It was a pleasant chat, but nothing changes at home because nobody agreed who would do what. Before you stand up, name the one thing you'll do and a date to check in. ## After the conference - **Talk to your child the same day, and start with the good.** "Your teacher says you're really kind to new kids, and your reading has come a long way." Then share the next step as a team plan: "We're going to practice your 7s together for 10 minutes after dinner." - **Write a one-line plan.** For example: "7s and 8s, 10 minutes, Monday to Thursday. Check in with the teacher on December 1." Put it on the fridge. - **Send a short follow-up email** within a day or two. Thank the teacher, repeat the plan in one sentence and give the check-in date. ## The top 10 questions to take with you 1. What is my child doing well, and what do they enjoy? 2. Where are they in reading compared with what you'd expect at this time of year? 3. Where are they in math compared with the grade-level expectation? 4. Which reading level or test does the school use, and what was their latest score? 5. Which method does the class use for math, so I can help the same way at home? 6. What does a typical mistake of my child's look like? 7. What is one thing we could practice at home for 10 minutes a day? 8. How do they get on with other children and in class? 9. Do they need extra support or more stretch, and how will we know it's working? 10. What's the best way to contact you, and when should we check in next? ## A simple plan for this week Tonight, ask your child the three questions. Tomorrow, spend five minutes with the homework folder and the report card. Then write your top three questions on a card, with the one thing you most want to leave with at the top. After the conference, send your follow-up email and start the 10 minutes a day. ## Something specific to take to the teacher If your child learns with Thena, you can read every lesson word for word in your grown-ups area, with her notes on what your child found tricky. That gives you something specific to bring to the conference, such as the step of a problem that keeps going wrong. Thena teaches the way US schools do, following Common Core, and you can [see how a lesson works](https://askthena.com/blog/meet-thena-us). [Try 3 lessons free](https://askthena.com/register) ## Questions parents ask ### How long is a parent-teacher conference? Most schools schedule 10 to 20 minutes per family, and it varies by school. In middle school you may get only a few minutes with each teacher. If you need longer, ask for a separate meeting. ### Should I bring my child to a parent-teacher conference? It depends on the school. Some schools, especially middle schools, run student-led conferences where your child presents their own work and goals. If your child is not invited, arrange childcare if you can, so you and the teacher can talk freely. ### What if I can't attend the parent-teacher conference? Email the teacher as soon as you can and ask for a phone or video call, or a different time. Send your top three questions ahead so the call can be short and useful. ### What should I ask my child's kindergarten teacher? Ask which letter sounds and sight words your child knows, whether they can count to 100 by ones and by tens, and how they are settling in with routines and friends. Then ask for one thing to practice at home for 10 minutes a day. ### What should I do if I disagree with the teacher? Ask for examples of what the teacher has seen, and share what you see at home. Agree to try one thing for a few weeks and set a date to check in. If you still disagree after that, ask for a follow-up meeting, which can include the principal or school counselor.